


A Literary Analysis of the Thief, the Spider, and the Hotel

by JaxMan



Series: Tales from my Pastebin [11]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Analysis, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaxMan/pseuds/JaxMan
Summary: I spent a weekend reading LazBriar's work, and another five days or so analyzing the first novel. Newly imported from Pastebin, here it is!
Relationships: Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)/You
Series: Tales from my Pastebin [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641502
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	A Literary Analysis of the Thief, the Spider, and the Hotel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LazBriar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazBriar/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Thief, The Spider, and The Hotel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17874860) by [LazBriar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazBriar/pseuds/LazBriar). 



Okay, so I was going to make this a video, but honestly? Fuck that. It's a few thousand words right now. Maybe I'll make a video of the review that I wrote, but don't count on it. I'm pretty fucking exhausted from this project. It's been over a week since I started reading the books, and my motivation doesn't last much longer than that. Also, I'm not editing this shit. Sorry.

TL;DR for the review: good smut, good romance, good action, didn't like the ending.

Full analysis:

What kind of person thrives in Hell? Who can suffer through the pain, and stand against fate? It takes a special kind of individual.

The kind who was in Hell even before he died.

If you saw my review of The Thief, the Spider, and the Hotel, you know what to expect. If not, this is a full-spoilers analysis of a novel-length Hazbin Hotel fanfiction, The Thief, the Spider, and the Hotel. It's about a reader insert, an his relationship with the canon character Angel Dust. I won't get into the sequels or short stories here, just the first book. And yes, I'm calling it a book, even though it's web-only. There's a lot of sex, a lot of violence, and some very mature themes, so be warned.

If you haven't seen my review yet, watch it and decide if you want to read the fic for yourself. In short, it's not perfect, but if you like romance, action, or sexy demon men, it's worth a read.

We start in Pentagram City, Hell, as you escape the Gadzooks Gang, barely holding onto your life and the gang's ill-gotten cash. It's not a bad action scene, showcasing your personality (arrogant bastard) and motives (money and fame). 

You are Anon, a master thief with plans for this city.

Anyway, you're on the lamb with an armful of cash, and run into a stranger. A tall, effeminate, spidery stranger, who sees your cash and offers you a good time.

Oh yeah, you know where this is going. The author wasted no time getting to the smut, and I can respect that. Also, it makes sense that this is how you two get together. A prostitute and his client turned sugar daddy. A thief and the hooker he hires with stolen cash.

As you escape in his taxi, the two of you get acquainted and Angel Dust proposes a deal. If the cash keeps coming, so will you. Call me sentimental, but he seems to take a lot of interest in some random thief. Maybe he expects you to pull in more cash? Your character doesn't seem like a high roller, more like a street criminal who got lucky.

Speaking of getting lucky, this is when the first sex scene begins. It lasts the equivalent to several pages, and it's fucking glorious.

Now, I'm not an expert on smut. Not because I actually get laid or anything, [I just normally prefer, um...](https://youtu.be/GcWOmLIwW7U?t=10) But this, this is pretty good. You could bust a nut to this. 

After the climax of the scene (and characters), the cab reaches its destination: the Happy Hotel.

You meet the cast and they're pretty much as depicted in the pilot. Vaggie's pissed at Angel, Charlie's welcoming and cheerful, and the others don't appear yet. Even from the start, you aren't an altruistic character. The Hotel's just good cover for heists. And your new fuckbuddy is icing on the cake. Then Angel invites you upstairs. Noticing a pattern? 

A few things stand out about the scene. First, Angel says he's into violent guys, and, well, you're a thief in Hell. Sometimes, the guns gotta come out. This could just be him buttering you up, but considering his history, it's entirely possible that he actually does like violent guys. Troubling, maybe, but he was born into a mafia family. I guess that's just what he knew.

Then the two of you bond over his gun collection. He's either really committed to your cash, or he's already taking a liking to you. It's unclear, but knowing him, probably both. Also, his room is really pink. Not sure if there's any official art of his Hotel room, but I'm sure it would look like the author's depiction. Angel offers you a deal: his guns and 'services' for your cash. He's trying to get clean, so he can't join you on heists, as much as he'd like to. Even this early, it's clear that you're a temptation to him. But you have plans for this city.

And then you fuck.

I won't get too graphic with the sex scenes. The author does, though, and it's high quality. However, you'll notice a pattern in most of them. He gives you a beej, then you top him, and each of you has one or more orgasms throughout. Other things can happen, but that's the gist of it. It's tough to suspend disbelief that much. Sex is awkward and messy, not clean and perfect. Maybe this works for you, but I find imperfection endearing. Show us the mistakes, the awkward positioning, the experimentation! Not just the same thing again.

The next chapter begins mid-heist. Your unflinching brutality and greed have led you to rob another gang, this time armed with Angel's Thompson and some explosives. You get the cash and jewels, the gang's hideout gets blown the fuck up. This isn't just a cash grab, it's a statement. You want people to know what you do. That's tough in Hell, where violence is commonplace, but you're getting there. But just 'getting there' isn't enough. You want to be the king of crime, to make it big!

Back at the Hotel, Angel greets you, high as fuck. You give him his share, and he laments not being able to go with you. The life of violence still calls to him, and so do you. He'd make a good wingman, surely, so why won't he join you? Why try for redemption? He'll explain in due time.

The gangs aren't happy about being robbed, as shown in the next scene. Someone's been blowing up hideouts and stealing their treasure, so they hire an assassin. A short, rabbit-like demoness named Sarin. She uses acid to kill people, and laces it with holy water. In Hell, you can only die permanently by holy means. This is typically metal from angelic weapons, but holy water works, apparently. Anyway, Sarin (get it? Like, the poison?) murders one of her boss's lackeys, as villains do, and hops away in search of a certain thief. You know, people who murder their employers don't typically get much work. Just sayn'.

Sarin steals the scene. She isn't the strongest character, a bit one-note, but she has an intimidating presence and a unique gimmick. Besides, not everyone needs to be fleshed out. She's a murderer with no empathy. She doesn't seem to understand other peoples' emotions, as we'll see later. She was probably written to have some kind of mental illness, but I won't diagnose that here. I'm not a shrink.

Next scene: you're casing the joint, a casino called the Sugary Chigurh, and who's coming along but your new pal, Angel Dust. He draws attention, not the best for someone who's trying to be sneaky. [Why did you even invite him?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvc8L_dU97w) This scene shows your character's greed and arrogance better than any before, even Angel cautions you against going for the vault, suggesting a lower-risk theft. But you want to be *known,* to strike fear into the city. Angel thinks this is idiotic, because of course it is. Bank robbers and fame do not fucking mix! This book portrays your character as an idiot. An idiot who's an expert in robbery, but an idiot nonetheless. Protip: when the ultraviolent criminal tells you to chill, you need to fucking chill. But a lifetime of being a nobody has made you lust for recognition, and you have plans for this city. And to top it all off, guess how you're getting into the safe? By stealing the needed tools from Sir Pentious, one of the most feared warlords in Hell! 

*Dumbass.* But hey, at least you're getting laid. Are you doing this partly to impress Angel? Is that on your subconscious mind? I tend to think so.

Meanwhile, a certain rabbit sniffs at the wreckage of your last target. She can smell the chemicals you used in your explosives, along with something else. Perfume, expensive, only sold to a few clients. Only one came to mind, a prostitute called Angel Dust. Smiling, she puts it all together.

The assassin knows who you're with. And she's ready to meet you.

The next chapter features Spade, a professional thief you hired to steal the safe-breaking equipment. He's grizzled, professional, and ruthless. In my opinion, he's the least interesting of the main cast. His crew is nervous about stealing from such a powerful warlord, but he quells any dissent. This scene is interrupted by the next, which is not action-packed, but far more interesting.

Charlie decides to take the Hotel staff and patients to a stand up routine, and who happens to be performing but Angel Dust! His style of comedy is... extremely self-deprecating. He jokes about getting beaten, drowned, and otherwise abused by family members. The audience loves it. It seems really messed up at the time, but it makes more sense in hindsight. This is Hell, most people there are sadistic assholes! If they weren't that way upon arrival, they'd learn it! Charlie doesn't seem to understand this, which makes no sense to me, as she was born in Hell. In fact LazBriar often portrays her as shockingly naive, even by human standards. Even if she lived her entire life at the palace, she'd been at the Hotel for at least a few weeks by this scene.

Your character doesn't know what to make of this. Yeah, it's Hell, but this is pretty fucked. It makes you question how well you know Angel. You don't even know when he died! After the show, you pay him a visit and ask if those the things he joked about actually happened. They did, and Angel doesn't seem bothered. Maybe seventy years in hell desensitized him, or maybe he just buries the trauma. Either way, it bothers you, even with your violent streak, even with the countless dead at your hands, you don't want to see him hurt.

Turns out, the concern is mutual. He asks about the time you spend alone, calling you a 'mope.' Why don't you spend more time with him? Why can't you try to get clean? You wonder the opposite, why can't Angel come with you? He tells you he has his reasons, but why-

And then, once again, you fuck. Just a bj this time, but it's enough to distract you. Maybe that's all he wanted, was something you keep you from tempting him into his old ways. Is this healthy, relying on sex to get what you want? He based his persona on that and violence. It it just another coping mechanism, a facade? Does he dare show weakness by expressing sorrow, pain, or fear? Not yet, not for you. And you're starting to think of him as a good friend. Who's currently sucking your dick like me with a jug of cheap wine.

Meanwhile, Spade's team isn't doing so well. Two are dead, and one's trying to run from the job. Scratch that, three were dead. Spade's a professional, and if that means shooting a deserter, so be it. He'll be back, though. The text cryptically tells us that he'll return as a 'lesser version of himself,' but doesn't elaborate yet. Spade makes off with the goods, and meets up with you.

What follows is possible the first time you're described from another character's perspective. You wear a 'regal' suit, are about as tall as Spade, and hide your face. It's a loose description, probably because the author doesn't know what you look like. I'm going to drop the second-person thing for a bit.

Anon is... weird in concept. He's supposed to be you, the reader, but he has his own backstory, his own personality, and his own motives. Writing in second person is tough, since you don't know the reader. Writing an entire novel in second person? No wonder Anon becomes his own character. Later in the book, his backstory is expanded upon greatly, but despite this, the author keeps the second person narration. In the afterward, they explain that Anon *is* you, but I'll get into that at the end.

Back to the plot (and second person), You and Spade part, but not before he pries the next target out of you. To his... amazement? Concern? it's the Sugary Chigurh. Either way, you've earned some respect.

The Hotel gang weren't the only ones at the comedy club that night. Someone was watching the show, looking for the owner of that perfume. Looking for the identity of his thieving friend. Her cheerful, almost giddy personality makes her lethal intentions all the more unsettling. If her corrosive capsules were allowed in the club, the night would have ended a lot differently. But now, she knows who you are.

The heist draws closer. The Sugary Chigurh is your oyster, which you, with sword, shall open. But your pearl chooses to stay behind. Why does it bother you so much? Maybe you're just offended by his defiance. He would rather try to be redeemed than join you, a master thief? It's frustrating to you, but... also charming. maybe he thinks you, too, can become better. Ridiculous, maybe, but it's a nice thought. 

Late at night, you knock on Angel's door, sick of the anxiety of planning the heist. Reluctantly, he lets you in. It seems you woke him up. Also, this is the first time you meet his pig, Fat Nuggets. Just thought I'd throw that out there. 

You came to talk, but words elude you. Yesterday, you realized how little you knew of him, and it's been eating at you. Your character is beginning to care about this guy, not just as a friend, but someone close. Not a lover, but close. In the following conversation, he lets out his frustration and tells you how you've been tempting him. How you keep asking him to go on this job. Completely tone-deaf, you ask him again, and are met with rejection. Then, he tells you why he wants redemption. He drops the sexy talk and invites you to cuddle with him. Forlorn, he tells you how you remind him of someone else.

He had a one-night stand with a man, back when he was alive. A square-jawed mobster, handsome as hell. Afterwards, the man left in a rush, saying they'd made a mistake. This was the 30s or 40s, not a good time for gay people. If they were caught by the family, there was a good chance they'd be killed. He was right, because Angel tells you how the square-jawed guy was caught, how they "literally broke his balls" trying to get him to rat on his lovers. But he didn't, and that saved Angel's life. And now you stroll in, everything he wants in a man, money, violence, and sex. You stick around just long enough for him to like you, then you rob a casino and die on him too.

The square-jawed man's name? ~~Albert Einstein~~ Angel says he doesn't remember.

As he tells you this, he starts laughing. It's a hollow sort of chuckle, devoid of humor. Just a coping mechanism for someone who was in Hell even before he died. The violence, the drugs, the sex, they aren't just hellish indulgences. I think he's desensitizing himself so he isn't hurt again. Besides, how many times do you think he went to church, only to hear that he'd be eternally damned for who he loved? No wonder he chose sin. 

But then he tells you why he's at the Hotel. He says he wants to redeem himself, because he figures the square-jawed guy is up there, in the good place. A long shot? Maybe, but it's better than nothing. And as much as he tries to play it off like he doesn't care about anything, it's clear that he does. 

That's not his only reason. He tells you how he plays up the flamboyancy and sexuality as revenge on the Family, for a lifetime of repression and abuse. Redemption, getting to Heaven while they're stuck in Hell, is the greatest revenge he can imagine. I also got the sense that he just wanted out of it all, that beneath his layer of indifference, he just wants to be somewhere this kind of shit doesn't happen. But he tells you, in no uncertain terms, that the most important thing is that he wants it. If you can't accept that, tough shit.

I really like this. It shows a lot of willpower from someone who could be mistaken for a hedonistic sociopath. Well, maybe he is one, but still. And your character approves, considering it right to act on your own well-being. In fact, you relate it to theft, another thing you like. Well, if you were a better person, you wouldn't be in Hell.

Something bothers you, though. How can he remember his life when you can't? It's never confirmed why. Probably to keep personal information to a minimum so the reader can relate. It doesn't matter right now, as the two of you do some pillow talk on the situation. He's the only one here you trust, and even he can't stop you from going through with the heist. But damn, does he come close.

And then you fuck. The perspective shifts before the action, but that's not the point of the scene.

The next scene features Sarin. Her boss expresses concern at the notion of going up against AD, with him being a violent criminal and all. He even fears a turf war. How much power does Angel command, anyway?

The next morning, you begin to acknowledge that you feel something for Angel, more than just friendship. It makes you second-guess the heist, wonder for the briefest moment if it's worth it... But no time for that. You have a heist to plan.

What follows is the first time Angel's inner monologue plays into the second-person narration. Maybe this is what he wants to say to you, but can't, or doesn't think he should. He addresses you directly, frustrated beyond words that you're leaving on this fool's errand, that you're going to die on him, that he can't go with you. But he can still help. This ties into the pilot, giving context to Angel and Cherri's battle with Sir Pentious. Rather than just owing her a favor, he's trying to save your ass by drawing attention away from the casino. It's an interesting nod to canon.

It's almost time for the heist. As your mind races, Angel stops by for a meeting. He lacks his usual sardonic demeanor, instead carrying an aura of sorrow. He tries not to look anxious, but it's clear that this is eating him alive. He gives you the knife he used in his first killing. Is it a sentimental gift disguised as a practical one, or the other way around? He gives you a long, deep kiss, and tells you not to dare fuck up. Holding back tears, he leaves. One last time, the thought of abandoning the job crosses your mind. Would you do it for redemption? For him?

No. You don't.

The heist is well written, action packed, and won't be retold here. Go read it for yourself, if you haven't already. It's a great midpoint to the story, and serves as a catalyst for future events. Nothing is quite the same after this.

Angel's pissed. Stupid, greedy Anon, you don't listen to anyone but yourself. Of course it went wrong! Of course you almost died. What did you expect? Sure, he says it's because of the chewing out he got for helping you, but that's not it. You almost fucking died! Everything he feared almost came true! How could you?

This is a huge change for your character, not just due to permanently losing an arm, but because it's the first time you legitimately feel guilty for what you've done. You let him down, and it hurts even more than the acid. You feel you manipulated him, even though he's resisting your temptations. And this is when you finally come to terms with how much Angel means to you.

Angel seems to forgive quickly, insisting you take him out around town as a sort of apology (despite the curfew the two of you have earned). What's one more night of vice? You both have an eternity to get clean. In the month since you met, you haven't gotten into trouble together, and that's about to change. He isn't interested in apologies, and you're clearly suffering from your mistake. He doesn't want to hold grudges, just make sure you get better. And what better way to lift his friend's mood than a night of debauchery? 

I like how Angel is mature, yet immature at the same time. He indulges in all kinds of pleasures, and seems to have no self control, but he has great emotional intelligence. He's forgiving, and just wants to see his friend happy. You take notice, and uh oh, feelings. Those are dangerous. What are you going to do about those?

Ever wonder what Angel's idea of intimacy is? Sex, cuddling, that's normal for him. Just another day at work. How does he get close in an emotional way? Simple: he takes you on a date. In this case, to the first strip club he ever worked at. His history in Hell hasn't really been explored yet, and this is a nice glimpse into his past. Throughout the night, even basking in fame, he seems to take pride in calling you his date. At the end of the night, he even gets a room for the two of you, his old room. It's more refined than his Hotel room, and being there is like seeing another part of him. It's... special. 

Then there's a sex scene. To you, he's more beautiful than ever, "the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen." The experience is bliss, and you wouldn't do it with anyone else. 

Afterward, the pillow talk. You just chill out and talk, about the sheets you just ruined, about his past, about stuff. He mentions that he plays piano, that it's how he attracted the square-jawed guy, how his father wanted him to play, but made him stop when he started to play "like a queer." Then he shows you a photograph of him, from when he was alive. He's showing you a piece of his mortal life, something he's only shown you and Cherri. All you can think is 'why?' Why trust a thief, a greedy write-off like you? 

Gone is the pride, the arrogance, replaced by self-deprecation. This is no more realistic than the delusional grandeur. You just swung like a pendulum, from one side to the other. 

After some adorable coaxing, you convince Angel to play a song for you. [Here it is.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6dGAZTj8xA)

The song is Avril 14th, by Aphex Twin. The lyrics were written by the author ~~, and sung by me. Hope I got the timing right, Laz~~ (maybe someday). In universe, though, he says it's just something he used to sing. 

This is my favorite scene in the book. The more I re-read this story, the more I see that LazBriar understands characters, and how they work. You and Angel grow together organically. 

The next chapter is told entirely from Angel's perspective, and it's probably my second favorite part. it takes place between the heist and the previous chapter.

Angel is on a rooftop, thinking about you. He mentally recaps his version of the events following the heist, how he felt, what he thinks of you. Most of this is pretty clear my this point in the story, so I'm not sure why LazBriar chose to include this part. Maybe it's just a refresher, I dunno. The internal monologue is a little weird, too. He speaks in first person, as if addressing the reader, but he refers to Anon (you) in third person. Last time we got his perspective, it was like thinking of what he wanted to say to you. Now, he's basically describing you to yourself. I'd love to know what the thought process was for this decision, but not because I think it's bad (it isn't).

Then Anon shows up. I'm using third person because the story does. Hox (AKA Spade) described you briefly, but they didn't talk much. Angel doesn't describe your appearance, save for the prosthetic arm, but it's interesting seeing a conversation with Anon from someone else's perspective. It's also a neat behind-the-scenes for Angel, revealing his conversation techniques, his emotional responses, how he instinctively hides behind an aloof, sexy facade.

This also marks the first sex scene from Angel's perspective. It's brief, but tells us how wild he is about Anon. If there was any doubt about his lust for his man, this quells it. But the most memorable part of the scene (for me) comes after. Anon didn't just show up for a quickie. He wanted to confess something. Anon doesn't confess love or anything, just awkwardly asks if he wants to start dating. You probably saw this coming, but Angel doesn't. It's really cute seeing him get nervous about some guy crushing on him. Has he ever had this experience before? He was gay in the early 20th century, and in Hell afterward. How many fulfilling relationships can you find in either situation? He's never mentioned any exes, just the square-jawed guy. A century or so of life and afterlife, and this is still new. It's as depressing as it is adorable.

Then, Angel asks about the arm, how Anon got it, how bad was the injury. No sense in keeping secrets if they're an item, after all. He inspects it, showing distinct tenderness and care. The injury is bad, and the psychological impact is clearly taking a toll on the thief, who refuses to even look at it. As the shirt comes off, he gets more and more tense, until he's white-knuckled and sweating. Angel helps Anon process the trauma, but it's not easy for either of them. The infected, inflamed wound is horrifying to look at, even for a denizen of Hell. 

One can only imagine what the surgery is like for Anon. Aside from immensely painful. Angel's concern and frustration are clear. He doesn't like trusting Vaggie with this, but she's the only one available, and she knows how to clean a wound. Her reaction to AnonDust is cute, too.

The awkwardness of the new arm is dropped after the surgery, and from that point on, it's just an arm. It moves like an arm, it works like an arm, it's even stab-proof! Yeah, turns out losing a limb makes you into a badass. Just ask Adam Jensen, Punished Snake, the dude from Bionic Commando, {fill in this list, you know there are plenty of examples}. 

Next chapter is back to second person. You are Anon once more. The arm is no longer irritating your skin, you have a sharp new suit, and you're getting ready for a date with Angel. A double-date, in fact. Something nags at you, though. Wouldn't you prefer a gun in your hand, robbing banks with Angel? It seems the life of robbery is still calling, but you resist it. You want to be better, now. Even during the date, you reflect on your intentions. Are you at the Hotel for the wrong reason? Of course you are! You're just a thief, worming your way into their lives to steal. Right?

I enjoyed the double-date with Charlie and Vaggie far, far more than any of the intrigue. It had romance, cute couples, horrifically brutal violence, and even a sex scene at the end. 

During the date, an arachnid demon (who looks a lot like Angel) sits nearby, glaring at the loving couples. He's obviously suspicious, and proves it when he ambushes you in the bathroom, brandishes a knife, and tells you to suck his dick. But not in a gay way, 'cause he ain't no 'prick-pumper.' Also, he really has it out for Angel, to the point where he hates you just for being his date. He calls Angel a disgrace, like he knows the guy. Yeah, if you follow Hazbin, you know who it is. Arakniss, Angel's older brother. But just a heads-up: never pick a fight with someone who has a mechanical arm, 'cause that's a major character. What is it with mechanical arms in fiction, anyway? Does the author just want a MGS5 reference that badly? I know I've mentioned that before, but still.

Anyway, once you're done displaying your character's violent streak by kicking the shit out of him in a spectacularly brutal fashion, you wash his blood off your hands and return to dinner.

No, no, let's go back a bit. The violence. This guy rushes you with a knife, you block it with your motherfucking cyborg arm, and then you disarm him. But you're not fucking done. You bash his head, then you *shove your metal hand into his mouth, and rip it back, breaking his motherfucking jaw!* And you're spitting one-liners at the guy like it's fucking nothing! 

This isn't really portrayed as a good thing, more like your demons coming back to haunt you. And really, the author's right, that shit ain't a good habit to get into. But holy fuck, was it badass.

Okay, that's all. Back to the date. It's pretty clear that this guy is still a threat (he might not have been alone), but why kill the mood, right? So you suggest getting a room, Charlie and Vaggie, drunk as hell and fucking adorable for it, agree. Angel, being himself, proposes a 'dirty quartet.' You can guess what that means. 

Vaggie and Charlie are even more adorable than you and Angel. Two drunk lovers, going at it for possibly their first time. The author doesn't really focus on them, letting the main duo take center stage. It's a nice, lighthearted scene, a good palate cleanser for what comes next.

I would like to point out Abbadon's last line: "I have plans for your city." You recognize that, right? Maybe that's a parallel between you and Abbadon. Maybe it's forshadowing. I dunno. Read it and see for yourself.

Side note, Sarakk might be my favorite character in the book, after Angel. There's just something about the cheerful, on-the-clock villain who just has a job to do, nothing personal. He's got more to him than that, though. His temper and lack of inhibitions make him the single meanest motherfucker you'll ever meet, even if he doesn't act like it. Also, what a fucking terminator, just shrugging off damage like a tank on legs. Even the stuff that can damage him won't stop his regeneration. Overpowered, yes, but he's the antagonist, so it's fine.

After the main antagonist is revealed to you and Hox, your relationship with Angel takes on a new quality. The stakes give you a level of clarity you didn't have before. Everything is about him. It's not just Hell that's in danger, *he* is, and you have to save him. The next scene is another of you two relaxing, just enjoying each other's company. Also, this is where he reveals his preference for box magazines over drums. Fuck, I think *I'm* in love, now. You appreciate even the little things, like the care he takes in choosing makeup. You rely on him, he's your rock. You don't think of him as some flawless, perfect being. Some people mistake obsession and willful delusion for love, and I'm glad Laz doesn't take that route. You even later refer to him as "This damaged, yet complete person." Also, I want you to remember this line, regarding Abbadon: "Alastor's plan is like a mountain, and you must carry it."

When he finally tells you how he relies on you, it's surprising, but what did you expect? He's only a person, after all. Take it from someone who went through withdrawal, that shit sucks. (Side note: don't do hard drugs. Not worth it.) No wonder he's losing his cool right now.

Your advice was interesting. "Fuck it, do drugs! Have sex! It's Hell!" Not the typical 'stay strong and steadfast' advice one might have expected, but you aren't a typical protagonist. And why should you want him to change who he is? That's not why you fell in love with him...

Ah, the accidental confession. Remember earlier, the line I told you to remember? Here's the payoff: "The words are heavier than a hundred mountains," versus Abbadon's one. That's how much he means to you. That's why you have strength to do this. And damn, do you feel lucky he agrees.

A few short scenes later, your memories return. It's not explained why, but they do. Maybe the author decided it was pointless not to flesh out the protagonist's backstory, since he has his own personality and all. Maybe it was the power of love that did it (bleh). Either way, it leads to swapping stories with Angel.

Another love scene, and you need him more than ever. Just Be Good To Me plays as you make love, as you reflect how much you love him, trust him, wish this would go on forever. Sure, you've felt this way before, but this time, it's more intense than ever. The song is even reflected in the text: "Let me, god, just let me be good to you."

The author sums up the scene better than I can: "Angel's fucked a lot of people. He hasn't made love though. Now that's changed."

The next chapters are climactic, but don't focus much on you and Angel. I'll go over the character development, but not much else. The only other thing I'l say is this: Hox fucked the goat bois! Hox is a goat fucker! Hox must be from {Insert rural area of your choosing}!

Oh, one more thing. Sarakk's arrival at the hotel was badass. The music, Charlie's uncharacteristic sharpness with the others, the polite introductions that stretched over malice like an ill-fitting garment, all of it worked together to make a chilling scene. Demon-form Charlie vs Sarakk is a sight to behold, and good on Angle for bringing the big guns.

I expected the Saint's Arm to be the key to the door. Huh. Well, sorry Hox. Somebody's gotta die to get those emotions flowing. That's just the way it is. 

Real talk, though, Hox didn't really have any character development. You learned things about him, but he didn't change in any meaningful way. I had little reason to care about him, save that the author told me I should. I sometimes wonder if he was just there to be the sacrifice. He was introduced early, though, so the finale wasn't likely in place by then. Ah, who knows?

So, you can't wish Abbadon to be destroyed, and wishing he was mortal wouldn't be a guarantee. Clearly, you wish that he weren't such a douchebag, that he wanted to help people instead of destroying everything. Right? ...*Right?* Well, you're mourning, so I guess your terrible decision makes sense. I won't get on the author's case here, people make dumb decisions and you're a person, but the solution seemed pretty clear to me. But it wouldn't be as dramatic, so it's a no-go.

Abbadon's entrance was the coolest fucking thing in the book. Maybe I'm biased, being a bit of a metalhead, but Behemoth was perfect for this. The imagery was even better.

You kill the big bad with the power of love, his minions are killed off easily, you've read this before. I've read it before, in *Eragon.* Yeah, if you're taking ideas from Eragon, you need better ideas. Yeah, it was in LotR, but it wasn't cliche back then! I think.

Several days pass, and Angel isn't doing so hot. He's mourning you, and has been since the battle. The rest of the city is back to normal, but things are different for him. You're gone, died for the last time. Must remind him of the square-jawed guy, falling in love just to die on him. He hardly talks, just stares out the window at the cold, bleak city.

But you aren't dead, of course. You appear heroically in front of the Hotel, returned by the power of love, and embrace your sobbing lover as end credits play over a freeze frame.

Okay, the epilogue justifies it a bit, but still. I'm not gonna believe that the characters are in danger if they can come back to life as the plot demands. What's next, is Hox gonna come back? 

That's not all. The Saint's Arm is a McGuffin without a purpose. The big bad wants it, but he seems to do fine without. Well, until you kill him. But how could the arm stop that reality-bending wish apple? Also, why hasn't Lucifer used the apple? I'm sure there are plenty of things he could do with it. Alastor can open a portal to the chamber, but says he can't enter. Why is that? {Make sure there's no legit reason first, don't wanna get egg on my face}

To be fair, this wasn't the only possibility Laz considered for the ending. There were a bunch of endings that got scrapped, and for good reason. Most of them were too sad, with you and Angel breaking up, you becoming evil, etc. One was an 'It was all a dream' ending, and thank fuck that didn't happen. Still, what we got could have been so much better as an emotional climax. 

Ending thoughts:

Personally, I think this book suffered from scale. Abbadon was originally just going to be a mutant superdemon, but ended up as a world-ending demigod. The big climax was supposed to be a heist, before the author upped the stakes. Come on, do you really expect the bad guy to destroy the world? He's gonna kill some nobodies and maybe a side character, or maybe a main one if it's the last book in the series. I guess it's a risk of publishing one chapter at a time. The story gets away from you, and you can't go back and edit the beginning.

The Thief, The Spider, and the Hotel has strengths. It has intimate moments between Angel and his thief, some of the hottest scenes I've read in a while, and some really good slice-of-life scenes. The action, when it's reigned in, is brutal and carries serious weight. The characters are fleshed out, especially Angel Dust. This is a book with a lot of hits, and a lot of misses. But you and Angel, that works almost perfectly. I say almost, because it's a little too perfect, just enough to cross a line in my head that says 'nah, that's impossible.' 

Also, regarding, well, you. I mentioned the possible disconnect between reader and surrogate, how the thief seems like his own character. This is what the author has to say:

_Thief Anon is you, no matter who you are._

_I want you to understand something, o' reader: this story is for you. You are, background aside, a component and piece of the Thief. This is your story. Though Thief works with his own identity, the goal is ultimately to create a suitable reader surrogate. I want you to feel this journey, in its own way - no matter how large or small - is something you've taken and grown with. I'm someone who generally tries to obey canonical laws because an accurate representation feels like the real thing. Granted, it seems like the audience is pretty forgiving, but if it feels like the genuine article, if it feels like You and Angel Dust, ain't that so much more special? It's my gift to you._


End file.
